I’m Fantastic!
Those that know me know I always respond a certain way when you ask me how I’m doing, how my day is going, or how I am. The response is: “I’m FANTASTIC!“ Which if it doesn’t completely startle the person asking, it makes them think I am insane (Well, I could be…). I love to give this repsonse because it is a trigger to make me automatically feel better and it sure puts a smile on everyone’s face.
Today I decided I needed to stop at the bank to make a deposit (which I really enjoy doing these days!). A young woman teller steps up to the window to help me and goes through the regular procedures, after a moment or two she eeks out the regular small talk “How is your day going today?” and immediately without hesitation I say in a voice probably louder than what is acceptable at a bank “FANTASTIC!”
Right away her eyes widened and just as quickly return to normal. After she meekly says “well… not all of us can say that…”
I have seen this lack of attitude in many people who dislike their jobs, hate their position in life, and live for the weekends. I gave the young woman a very simple, yet profound response. “You really could though.”
I could see the look in her eyes as she slumped, her shoulders rolled forward and you could see the “yeah, yeah” glazed over look on her. After the brief interaction she asked if I wanted to see my “large balance” (her words, not mine!) and after saying no thanks she said “Thank you for coming in.” After giving her my usual “Have a wonderful day!” I left.
Don’t you know people like this? Haven’t we all done this ourselves? One of the things I have learned in changing my life around was the simple fact of what you say determines how you feel. If you always are saying negative things, negative words, and have negative thoughts, you feel pretty lousy. This is why I made it a habit to always say that I am fantasic, regardless if that’s how I really feel or not. Why “lie”? I tell you what, I am so conditioned now that I automatically feel better anytime someone asks me how I am. I have tons of interesting stories from when I have shouted fantasic across a room full of strangers! It’s certainly funny if nothing else!
Have a FANTASTIC day!
The Art Of Getting What You Want…
The way to get what you want is to listen to what others want and help them get it.
“You can get everything in life you want as long as you help others get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar
This seems like a simple concept but there are a few things that you need to understand. When we want to get what we want, we need to communicate properly. Whether you want love and affection, a raise in pay, or friends to listen, you need to communicate with them. This is not always easy to do because there are a few keys to communication that few people follow.
1. Listening
Most people do not actually listen. They wait to talk. Have you ever done this? Sure you have, we all have. When someone starts saying something and it triggers a thought in our head, we automatically go from listening to them to becoming eager to tell them what that made us think! Listening is a learned skill and needs to be consciously practiced. The better you get at listening the more information you will be able to take from a conversation about a person. You would be amazed at what information you have never known about your co-workers, friends, or even your spouse! Next time you are in a conversation practice listening and asking questions about what they are saying to understand deeper instead of waiting to talk.
2. Communication
Communication is not what you say. Communication is what the other person understands. Have you ever had a mix up where you told someone specifically do this and they did the exact opposite? Again, the answer is “Of course!” We all have. The problem is not that they were dumb or did not understand, they understood perfectly! … Just not exactly what you were trying to say!
Think deep on this: “Communication is not what you say, it is what the other person understands.”
3. Caring
To really have someone care about what you have to say, and what you are doing, you first have to care about what they are saying and what they are doing. When someone comes up with an excuse for not doing something, try caring about what they have to say. Now this doesn’t mean that you need to give in to excuses, but you can help solve the problem if you care. If you care about why someone was late, you can understand what happens and plan for that in the future.
While all of this is a very small glimpse at communication and how to deal with people, I know these things have helped me tremendously in my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.
Have a fantastic day!
Fallen And You Can’t Get Up?
Very inspirational man. This goes to show that when we think we have problems… we don’t really have any problems.
You’ve Set The Goal… Now Achieve It!
You’ve set the goal… Now Achieve it!
This post is for people that already have goals. I am not posting this to tell people how to set goals, I am posting this to show people the reasons we do not achieve our goals! So many times we think about things we want. We dream about them. We even talk about them. But we never actually set the goal. We never put a deadline to it. We never actually do anything to pursue it even!
A goal we think about is a dream. A dream we do not write down is a wish. A dream that we write down, set a dead line to, and consistently take action towards becomes a reality.
So without further ado, the first reason we do not achieve our goals…
DECISION
Some times when we think about a goal or a dream we never really decide to go for it. We talk about it, we can even write it down and set a deadline for it. But mentally we never really say “I am going to do this.” Going for a goal, mentally, should be as simple as going to the store. You just say “I’m going to the store.” … and you go! We fail to realize some times how simple it must be. When we decide to do it, we do it.
I know this example may sound simplistic but my friends; it is. When you say you are going to get in better shape, or start a business, or make a million dollars, or anything of the like, you must really decide to do it. Clarity is power.
So how do we truly decide? Well one of the easiest ways is the burn the bridges behind you. Make it so there are no other options. Make it so you have no other choice but to achieve your goal. If you’re going to get in shape, hire a trainer, and not just anyone, hire someone that will come to your house and kick your butt if you don’t work out. If you are going to start a business, find someone that will force you to do well.
One of the ways I found to do this is to find a hero, an idol, that I can look up to, and really NEED to get their approval. (Now, this is meant to be used as a tool and even strong minded people can fall into the trap of needing this too much – too much of a good thing is never good.) When you talk to that hero, they will hold you accountable, and it won’t be “yeah, I just didn’t get around to it”, it is more like “I’m so sorry, I am going to do it right now!”
Yes, when you decide to do something. It gets done. Never mind if you need to go to the store that you do not have a car to get there. You find another way to get it done. You walk, take a bus, take a train, a plane, call a friend, get on your bike, roller blades, whatever. If you make a decision, you do it and if there are obstacles you just overcome them.
This moves us to the second reason people do not achieve their goals…
THE THRESHOLD
People only act for two reasons:
1. To avoid pain
2. To gain pleasure
We have to realize that we ONLY act for these two reasons. You can try to prove me wrong but it won’t happen 
.
Why did you procrastinate until the last day to do your papers in school? We have all done it at one time or another. The pain wasn’t painful enough until you hit the night before and say “Oh shoot! I need to get this done!” This point is called the threshold. It is a mental line you cross when something becomes unacceptable.
The threshold represents the point where the pain of not acting is greater than acting. Obviously, it is painful to sit down and write that paper. It is painful to file your taxes, it is painful to get out of bed and work out, it is painful to face rejection in business or sales. But the change happens when you cross the threshold.
Before the threshold: TAKING ACTION > NOT TAKING ACTION
After the threshold: TAKING ACTION < NOT TAKING ACTION
As you can see in this simple “illustration” that the pain is of taking action is greater before you hit the threshold. The reason is because of your reasons for taking action. You have more pain built up on one side or the other. This is the particular art of balance. The yin and yang. When you are off balance you take action one way or the other. When you are perfectly in balance you are stuck, this is the point where you stay stationary. Some call it analysis paralysis.
This brings us to the third reason we don’t achieve our goals…
HOPE vs. ACTION
The problem with many of the goal setting programs out there now is they tell you to write down your goals and look at them every day. Many don’t even mention that you have to do something towards achieving them!
I remember when I first set my goal to be a millionaire. I really, really hoped it would come true. I looked at that goal every day for months! Every morning when I woke up, every night when I went to bed! I thought about it in the shower, I thought about it at work, I thought about it driving, man did I think about it. I was going to be a millionaire! Wooo hooo! Then hours went by… Days went by… Months went by… Years… and I still wasn’t a millionaire… I thought to myself “Well what the hell… this isn’t working!”
The problem is I hoped instead of took action. I continued to work my jobs, I continued to learn and grow and expand, but I never actually really did anything to go for that goal. I was certainly working hard. But towards the goal of having a safe, secure job, and enough money to eat on for the week. That is hardly taking the action towards that million dollar mark.
The key point here is to take action. My father has always said to me:
“Do something… even if it’s wrong!”
And this is what I am saying to you. The best thing you can do is something wrong because it will teach you what does not work. How do you think any successful person found success? By only doing the right things? Well yes, but how do you think they figured out what were the right things? You guessed it, by doing the wrong things.
Wisdom comes from good judgment. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.
And the final reason we have a tough time achieving our goals…
QUALITY QUESTIONS
The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of answers you have or receive. The quality of the answers you receive is directly related to the quality of questions you ask. If you ask a poor quality question, you will get a poor quality answer. So many people ask a silly question like “How do I get rich?” … well usually the answer comes back “Make lots of money!” Even the most brilliant financial advisors will answer a dumb question with a dumb answer.
Let’s take a look at common questions and common answers we have and receive. While this may not be particularly true of this group. You can see what information is being sold to the masses. We can talk much about the “gurus” out there who give out the answers to the dumb questions people ask.
Q: How can I have more money?
A: Save money, stash it in 401k, wait, hope, and pray.
Q: How can I lose weight?
A: Go on a (unhealthy) diet.
Q: How can I have a great relationship
A: Compromise on everything and be walked on.
I am here to tell you that if you want a better quality of life, ask a better quality question!
To achieve your goals you need to be clear about them. I’ll say it again; clarity is power. To be clear it needs to be irrefutable. Write it down on a sheet of paper in front of you. You cannot lie to yourself. I cannot describe the power that seeing your thoughts in black and white in front of you has. So WRITE THE ANSWERS DOWN:
1. What exactly do you want?
2. In what direction will going for this goal take you?
3. How will you know when you have achieved this goal?
4. How will you know when you’re going in this direction?
5. What will you be seeing, hearing, and feeling?
6. How much of achieving this goal is under your control?
7. How will achieving this goal affect your life in the short term? In the long term?
8. How will going in this direction affect your life in the short term and the long term?
I want to tell everyone, good luck with your goals! Have a fantastic day!
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Do You Respond To Life Or React To It?
In life there is a big difference between reacting and responding to life.
When someone tells you something along the lines of “you no longer work for this company,” you have two choices; to react, or respond.
If you were to react to this situation, it would probably involve blowing up at your now former boss screaming something along the lines of “You are firing ME!? After all I’ve done for this company! This company won’t survive without me! I have practically held this company together myself for years!” Which, certainly does not help the situation one bit.
Your other choice is to respond to the situation. If you were to respond you would find the positive in the situation. You would fine or create new opportunities that were not there before. Often times a disgruntled former employee finally hits a threshold and says “I’ve had it!”, “I’m going to be the boss now!”
Now instead of reacting (which is negative), the response (which is positive) becomes the start of a new business and new opportunites, not only for that individual but many others as well.
So the question is: Do you respond to life, or react to it?