The Art Of Getting What You Want…

The way to get what you want is to listen to what others want and help them get it.

“You can get everything in life you want as long as you help others get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

This seems like a simple concept but there are a few things that you need to understand.  When we want to get what we want, we need to communicate properly.  Whether you want love and affection, a raise in pay, or friends to listen, you need to communicate with them.  This is not always easy to do because there are a few keys to communication that few people follow.

1. Listening

Most people do not actually listen.  They wait to talk. Have you ever done this?  Sure you have, we all have.  When someone starts saying something and it triggers a thought in our head, we automatically go from listening to them to becoming eager to tell them what that made us think!  Listening is a learned skill and needs to be consciously practiced.  The better you get at listening the more information you will be able to take from a conversation about a person.  You would be amazed at what information you have never known about your co-workers, friends, or even your spouse!  Next time you are in a conversation practice listening and asking questions about what they are saying to understand deeper instead of waiting to talk.

2. Communication

Communication is not what you say. Communication is what the other person understands. Have you ever had a mix up where you told someone specifically do this and they did the exact opposite?  Again, the answer is “Of course!”  We all have.  The problem is not that they were dumb or did not understand, they understood perfectly! … Just not exactly what you were trying to say!

Think deep on this:  “Communication is not what you say, it is what the other person understands.”

3. Caring

To really have someone care about what you have to say, and what you are doing, you first have to care about what they are saying and what they are doing.  When someone comes up with an excuse for not doing something, try caring about what they have to say.  Now this doesn’t mean that you need to give in to excuses, but you can help solve the problem if you care.  If you care about why someone was late, you can understand what happens and plan for that in the future.

While all of this is a very small glimpse at communication and how to deal with people, I know these things have helped me tremendously in my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.

Have a fantastic day!

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